Personal Scarlet Letter

La Seanda Hendrick AP position Ms. Avall champion Period 2 October 10, 2012 PERSONAL SCARLET LETTER ESSAY Insecurity, a word were all familiar with. A persons insecurity is a reflection of ones self-esteem and soak within their self. There atomic number 18 many things I am precarious ab cause to the fore my face, my weight, my body, the list goes on. These are all things that I believe are blemishs about myself. I tend to think that e reallyone is against me. As if I am ever soyones enemy. That no one is as genuine to me as I am to them. My fault is oerthinking. Always over analyzing someones haggle or actions into what I assume they are meant to be.This major flaw of mine I believe is the cause of my insecurities. Over thinking has caused me to stress myself out over minor situations that could sire easily been avoided. I developed early, very early, as early as 7 years old. In my preadolescent sound judgment, I thought I was just like everyone else. That was until someo ne eventually spotted it out, making me aware of my abnormality. This then made me feel conscious about my physical appearance. For years to pass, I continued to believe that my abnormality was wrong. As if I was supposed to look like one thing but did non. I hit puberty before anyone of my age.I was the tallest amongst my friends and classmates and the closely developed. Boys at my age did not look at girls that were bigger than them, or looked honest-to-god than them. They were interested in girls that looked their age, which was only about 9 and 10. I did not take this as Im too good for them or Theyre not on my level yet. I took this as boys striket want me because I am ugly. I would think that citizenry only wanted to befriend me just to have a antecedent to laugh at me, or make me cry considering I was a huge cry baby I would think no one genuinely wanted to be my friend.We are all taught to watch our milieu and who we allow in our lives. After all, you are a ref lection of those that you frame in yourself with. As Ive grown up and have matured, a lot, I am still very self-conscious, but I choose not to let people crawl in. All the hurt and agony I feel, I hide and keep to myself. It can hurt to hear the truth, the desire to know the truth but afraid of what the answer may be. This is where the overthinking plays in. The simplest thought, I over analyze and interpret in my own way and this can most likely cause me to come up with conclusions that were never discussed.These thoughts that I come u with tend to bring me down, making me feel worse than before. My mind is consistently in motion, I am always processing something. Without the ease of mind I desperately want, I will always inventory everything. This is a truly personal flaw that no one could ever point out, much more complex than any physical flaw. I have grown to not care what people have to say about what may seem as a flaw to them but I still undergo a personal effort of att empting not to over analyze situations and allowing them to solve itself instead of making up a solution in my conflicted mind.