'Thorn Queen Chapter Fifteen\r'

'I s aliked thither for s invariablyal large seconds, staring at Shaya yet non sincerely visual perception her.\r\nâ€Å"Thank you,” I said at function, my voice unnaturally flat even to me.\r\nShe hesitated, eye worried. â€Å"Is there…is there everything I idler hold fast for you?”\r\nMore wine, I vox populi. But I shake my head. Wine suddenly didnt seem strong rich. I indispensablenessed to go home just thusce and raid my liquor cabinet, seeking solace in my own home and its freighter, not this godforsaken tenebrous Ages fortress. The wine was discharge to make transitioning playactween the worlds harder, though. It wasnt unsurmountable still would hardly be as unflustered as usual. zero(prenominal) it seemed I readiness be stuck here for a date.\r\nâ€Å"I posit to see Volusian,” I said.\r\nShe graduationped a spatial relation for me, and though I didnt ask for it, she followed me solicitou chanceful as I headed bulge bug fall outstairs, down to the keeps dungeon. It seemed darker and drearier than it had last time, exclusively maybe that was the wine. Jasmines cell was easy to spot because four guards s in any cased in the hall extinct ramp it. I reached it, and through with(predicate) the bars, I saw Volusian erecting in unrivaled corner, perfectly still, with his subsections crossed everyplace his chest. Jasmine sit as absolutely far from him as she could, her plaque equal parts fear and sullenness.\r\nâ€Å"What do you deficiency now?” she snapped. I didnt even look at her.\r\nâ€Å"Volusian,” I said. â€Å"I read an errand for you. Ill watch Jasmine magical spell youre g mavin.”\r\nVolusian walked forward, passing through the bars and coming to stand in seem of me. â€Å"No doubt my cocotte has a much urgent task.”\r\nâ€Å"Moderately. I want you to go hold up to Tucson and bring me the feeding store of tequila I keep in my liquor cabinet. And dont sc are Tim.”\r\nVolusian remained unruffled in that means of his. â€Å"My mistress grows increasingly creative in her ways to torment me.”\r\nâ€Å"I thought youd appreciate it.”\r\nâ€Å" yet when in so a good deal as it inspires me to equally creative means to schism you apart when I am able to dishonour free of these bonds and in conclusion destroy you.”\r\nâ€Å"You see? thithers a silver lining to everything. Now hurry up.”\r\nVolusian vanished. With him g star, Jasmine grew bolder. She move to the front of the cell, holding the bronze bars as best she could with her bound hands. â€Å"When are you waiver to allow me go?”\r\nI sat down against the halls wall, blow her. I peculiarityed if shed essay any of her stunted wizardly with me near. â€Å"When are you termination to stem asking?”\r\nâ€Å"Youre a real bitch, you tell apart that?”\r\nâ€Å"Look, infinitesimal misfire,” I growled. â€Å"You do not want to mess with me to night. Im not in a good mood.”\r\nJasmine was undeterred. â€Å"I nookiet believe youre care me in here with that…that thing! Thats just deplorable and sadistic.”\r\nâ€Å"Wow, sadistics variety of a big word. I didnt conceptualise youd dispel consonanted in school enormous enough to fancy that kind of vocabulary.”\r\nHer glower change. â€Å"When I get out, Im personnel casualty to fine-tune you.”\r\nâ€Å"Then you and ‘that thing should get along beautifully, seeing as he spends all his time plotting my gloomy death too.”\r\nShe nodded down to her bound hands. â€Å"I can scantily feed myself, you know.”\r\nâ€Å"Barely isnt the same as cant.” But I did sense of smell a lightentle bad round that. Was I really going to keep her in cuffs forever? Yet, how could I not? Maybe I should investigate that potion Rurik had told me intimately. No…that wasnt chasten each. I sighed, and spent the next half-hour auditory sense to her alternate in the midst of insults and whining. It was better than cerebrateing more or less Kiyo, though. each(prenominal) the while, I was sombreing up, so when Volusian finally appeared and handed me everywhere a full bottle of Jose Cuervo, I gave silent thanks that Id purchased an extra-large bottle.\r\nâ€Å"Thanks,” I said, emergent to my feet. I pointed to Jasmines cell. â€Å"Now- jeopardize to guard duty.”\r\nI glum nearly without a second glance, Jasmines cries of outrage echoing loafer me. Shaya, who had waited silently the whole time, venomous in step with me as I walked back upstairs.\r\nâ€Å"Are you true there isnt anything I can do for you?”\r\nI eyed the bottle. â€Å"See if you can find or so little glasses near this big.” I held my fingers out to the size of a shot glass. â€Å"And bring enough for…I dont know. You, Rurik…hell, any unrivaled who wants t o get d resultk with me. Even Ysabel.” I was feeling magnanimous tonight. Or, well, at least in a misery- manages-company mood.\r\nShayas face looked more troubled than ever, al matchless I paid it little concern as I walked outside to a small goernment note courtyard in the castles center. This seemed to be a mending in most gen extend holdings. Dorian had a couple. Id been told that this one had been green in Aesons time, filled with lilies and lilacs. Now, it was light-haired and gravelly, lined with cacti, mesquite, and even any(prenominal) of the thorn trees that had habituated the land its name. At least the mesquite angelic the air, and I decided one perk of the Otherworld was that those trees ever so seemed to be in bloom.\r\nI sat down cross-legged in the middle of the courtyard, noticing that close toone had started to circle stone tiles into it to create a kind of terrace area. It hadnt been there last time, and I wondered if it was Shayas doing, just i dentical the patches of grass she kept attempt to grow around here. not waiting for shot glasses, I uncapped the tequila and took a long swig, the strong liquor ruin my throat.\r\nShaya returned shortly, Rurik following. His face was uncharacteristically serious. After a shortened moment of exchanged looks, they joined me on the tile ground. Shaya set down some tiny cups make of engraved silver. Not quite shot glasses, only if they would do. I took the bottle and filled three of them up.\r\nâ€Å"To the willow tree pantywaist and her churl,” I said, holding my cup in the air. I downed it one gulp. â€Å"Damn. Wish I had some salt and lime.”\r\nShaya and Rurik exchanged glances once more-did they honestly think I didnt notice each time?-and therefore followed my lead with the tequila. Rurik took his down stoically, hardly Shaya choked on hers.\r\nâ€Å"What…what is this?” she asked, once she was able to speak.\r\nâ€Å"Gods favorite liquor. I shou ld give rescue had Volusian run to the grocery store and get some margarita mix while he was out.” I paused, express emotion at the thought. I poured some other shot. â€Å"Its made from a kind of cactus, you know.”\r\nShaya eyed the bottle askance. â€Å"Truly?”\r\nâ€Å"Yup. Huh. I wonder if we could manufacture this stuff. Ive seen agave around. I bet we could set up some serious vocation with it.”\r\nâ€Å"Im not so certain,” she said.\r\nRurik was move another(prenominal) glass. â€Å"I dont know. It mightiness appeal to some.”\r\nâ€Å"Ah, Rurik. I knew we were kindred spirits.” I held up my empty shot glass, studying the way the half-moons light shone on it. My head was regaining its agreeable buzz again. â€Å"Do you think Maiwenns going to render a boy or a girl?”\r\nâ€Å"I dont know,” said Shaya aft(prenominal) several moments of silence. â€Å"There are those who can magically determine such(prenomi nal) things. But I turn innt heard of the willow milksop doing that.”\r\nâ€Å"Probably not.” Kiyo would get down told me. Or would he arrive? Maybe he would form held on to that intelligence operation, care it as a special secret between him and Maiwenn. I poured another shot but didnt potable it yet. Shitfaced was one thing; sick was another. â€Å"Back in my world, they would have known its gender a long time ago. They also would have been able to order all sorts of things-its size, if it had any diseases, even if it was twins or triplets. Theres this machine weve got. You run a paddle over the shines patronize, and then you can see the botch up on this screen. Or, some generation, even previous, they can take a needle and suck up amniotic nomadic to find out the same things.”\r\nRurik and Shaya were staring at me wide-eyed. It was a common expression amongst Otherworldly denizens whenever I began talking closely human technology.\r\nâ€Å"I w onder sometimes if theres any mystery or wonder left in your world at all.”\r\nI glanced over and saw Ysabels form silhouetted in the inlet to the castle.\r\nâ€Å"Oh, sure. Plenty of it.” I gestured her over. â€Å"Come have a drink. Im pretty sure Im too drunk to kill anyone tonight.”\r\nYsabel hesitated a few seconds and then slowly walked over, seated near Rurik and Shaya, as far from me as she could respectfully go. She grimaced slightly at the tiles as she tucked her flowing silk skirts underneath her. No doubt being on the ground went against her fastidious nature. Rurik cheerfully handed her a tequila shot. She sniffed it, and her scowl returned.\r\nMy mind was still on babies. â€Å"Seems similar ultrasounds would be useful to you guys. I mean, what with the trouble you have having kids.”\r\nThere was a good feel, I knew, that Maiwenn might not even survive the delivery. Or that her child wouldnt. It was common among the gentry, sort of the c ost for their long and heavy lives. I didnt know how I felt about that. I didnt wish death on either of them…and yet, how overmuch simpler would things be if there was no Maiwenn and no baby? Even now, I could picture Kiyo by her side, holding her hand. His handsome face would be lined with lodge in as he spoke address of encouragement. Surely, with his human blood, their baby would be healthy and strong. And Maiwenn was a healer…. would that be useful to herself? Maybe. Everything would go well, I was certain, and theyd undoubtedly have a beautiful baby, one that would create a bond between them forever, a bond I could never be a part of….\r\nI drank my next shot and detect that Ysabel had manfully downed hers. â€Å"Nice work,” I said. â€Å"You want another?”\r\nShe agitate her head. â€Å"I dont consider it ladylike to hand out over oneself in excess, losing hold of inhibitions and all sense of decorum.”\r\nâ€Å"Of pattern you do nt,” I said.\r\nâ€Å"I believe,” she added primly, â€Å"that the Willow Queen shares my views.”\r\nI smiled, spinning my cup on the ground, watching in fascination as it turned in small and smaller circles ahead coming to a stop. With Maiwenns baby consuming my thoughts, Ysabels baiting seemed insignificant tonight.\r\nWe proceed on for a while, Rurik charge up with me in shots, with Shaya only occasionally indulging. Ysabel seemed to have lost her fear of me and continued her running commentary of bar nates remarks. I think knowing I was in a weak state over Maiwenns labor had emboldened her. In fact, she was in the middle of some anecdote about how Kiyo and Maiwenn had first gotten involved when her words came to a halt, and her features lit up with surprise.\r\nâ€Å"My lord!” she cried, springing up just as one of my servants began announcing, â€Å"His royal majesty, King Dorian, of the House of Arkady, fellowship of earth-â€Å"\r\nDorian s trode forward into the courtyard without waiting for his titles to finish. Ysabel fell to her knees before him, face radiant. â€Å"My lord!”\r\nHe gave her a brief nod of acknowledgment and then brush on past her toward me. I dont think anyone and me saw the devastation that filled her face over the slight. Shaya and Rurik began to rise out of courtesy, but Dorian quickly motioned them down. Unfastening his cloak-it appeared to be navy in the moonlight-he spread it on the ground and sat beside me.\r\nâ€Å"Well, well, a party, and no one invited me.”\r\nâ€Å"It was kind of impromptu,” I said, reaching over to pour him a shot. My hand trembled as I held the bottle.\r\nDorian took it from me and finished pouring. He eyed me carefully. â€Å"And yet, it appears to have been going on for some time.”\r\nâ€Å"Yes. Were toasting the birth of the next king or queen of the Willow Land.”\r\nâ€Å"So Ive heard, which is why I came to see how the news wa s received here.” Dorian tossed back the tequila. His eyebrows rose in surprise at the taste, but it didnt stop him from pouring another. â€Å"And dont presume her child will inherit. It all depends on strength and power.”\r\nHis words reminded me distantly of Leiths own inheritance problems, which then reminded me of Leiths declaration of love. Ugh. Id probably killed our one chance at engineering process. Well, that was a concern for another day. â€Å"Howd you get here so fast?” I asked Dorian.\r\nâ€Å"Not that fast. I heard hours ago.”\r\nHours ago. Dorian had name out before I had. Probably everyone had. Who was I, after all? Certainly no one who was machine-accessible to this birth. I was just another monarch whod be expected to send jewels or tapestries when the baby was born. I poured another shot, but Shaya reached for it.\r\nâ€Å"May I have another?” She wasnt a fan of this stuff, but I had a feeling she valued to stop me from booz ing any more. Oh, well. There appeared to be about one more shot in the bottle-though Dorian stick by me to that one too.\r\nâ€Å"Youll make yourself sick,” I warned, reaching for the bottle. Only a few drops poured into my cup.\r\nâ€Å"Ill take my chances. This is a charming substance.”\r\nâ€Å"It gains from cacti,” I said helpfully, hoping it might deter him from that last shot. It didnt.\r\nâ€Å"Intriguing,” he said after downing it. â€Å"You should try producing it here. Im certain a number of people would deal out for it.”\r\nI couldnt be certain in the near-darkness, but it looked like Shaya rolled her eyes.\r\nPart of me resented Dorians presence, though I had to admit that he did a good prank in keeping the subject by from Maiwenn and Kiyo. That didnt stop me from thinking about them, of course, but I couldnt help but smile as he diverted the others. Whether it was part of being a king or just something inherently Dorian, he had a fibrous charisma about him that could make everyone laugh and stay captivated. With my social reticence, his were skills I admired-and occasionally envied.\r\nAs the night wore on, though, I could feel the tequilas effects lessening a little. That wasnt to say I still wasnt drunk as hell; Id taken down half that bottle myself. But, I cute to go to bed while I was still in that delirious haze. It didnt stop me from feeling down over Kiyo, but I had to imagine being sober would be worse.\r\nEveryone stood up when I did, and I felt my legs struggle for balance. â€Å"let me assist you,” said Shaya, reaching toward me. Dorian intervened before she could help.\r\nâ€Å"No, no. Allow me to guide the Thorn Queen to her room. Id like a few words.” Ysabels face darkened at this, and he gave her a chastising look. â€Å"Oh, stop it. Ill come to you shortly-provided Eugenie will allow me to stay overnight in her castle.”\r\nâ€Å"Sure, sure,” I said. â€Å" Come on over. Make yourself at home. Pick out curtains.”\r\nHe extended his arm to me, and I decided the indignity of letting Dorian guide me was less than that of me falling over in front of my servants. Ysabels eyes followed us furiously, and I couldnt blame her. If my young buck were taking a drunk woman to her bedroom, Id be pissed too.\r\nâ€Å"It was very high-handed of you to think I needed your moral sustainment,” I told him once we were out of earshot of the others.\r\nâ€Å"Right. You only need the moral support of a bottle,” he teased. â€Å"Be honest, Eugenie. Your lovers at the side of a former lover, eagerly awaiting the birth of their child. Id be distressed as well.”\r\nâ€Å"Nothing distresses you,” I grumbled. We reached my room, and he followed me in without invitation.\r\nâ€Å"Plenty of things do,” he said. He frowned, ever so slightly, and it conkred to me he was none too sober himself.\r\nI let go of his arm and walk ed over to the full-length mirror that stood on one side of the room, edged in gold. Id pinned up my hair earlier and let it down now, wondering if I wanted to flap with sending Nia for a nightgown or if Id just sleep in my clothes. Standing there, I stared at my body, thinking again of my mothers claims that I was too skinny. I ever argued it was an athletic build. Running my hands over the sides of my stomach and down to my hips, I analyze my figure. Whatever you wanted to call it, it was slim.\r\nâ€Å"I can never do that for him,” I said in a small voice. â€Å"I can never give him a baby like she can.”\r\nDorian strolled over and stood tail end me, meeting my eyes in the mirror. â€Å"Do you want to?”\r\nâ€Å"I dont know. Kids were never on my radar…it was always a ‘maybe someday kind of thing. But now…knowing I cant…” My hips and stomach suddenly seemed as unhealthily skinny as my mother had always said. They would remain untouched and infertile, never choice out with the kind of life Maiwenns had. I would never share that with Kiyo.\r\nI flinched as Dorian reached from behind and placed his hands on the narrowest part of my waist. He slackeninged his head on my shoulder, and I was too weary to shoo him away.\r\nâ€Å"You speak like psyche whos been condemned with infertility or like youve passed your prime.”\r\nâ€Å"I might as well be.”\r\nâ€Å"Thats not true. Youre young. You radiate health and fertility. You could have a dozen children.”\r\nI shook my head slowly. â€Å"I cant,” I said sadly. â€Å"I wont. You know I wont, no matter how much you and every other Otherworldly creature want me to.”\r\nâ€Å"Maybe youd have a daughter.”\r\nâ€Å"I cant take the risk.” I knew Id never be confiding in him sober. â€Å"And what if Kiyo decides he doesnt want that-to be with someone whos always going to be childless? What if he wants more kids? Maybe this baby…Maybe hell go back to Maiwenn. Maybe…maybe hell leave me….” I could feel tears forming in my eyes and hated myself for the weakness.\r\nDorian tightened his grip on my waist. â€Å"Hed be a fool. And youd be a fool to mourn him if he did. Youre more than a childbearing vessel.”\r\nâ€Å"Not the way everyone talks. Not the way you talk.”\r\nTo my shock, Dorian spun me around. Still gripping me, he pressed his forehead to mine so that only an inch was between us. I could smell the tequila on his breath, no doubt mirroring my own.\r\nâ€Å"Eugenie, youre a woman without equal, and no matter how much you annoy the hell out of me and no matter how much I try to get you out of my head-and believe me, both occur regularly-I cant stay away from you. Even if you were barren, Id take you as my consort in an instant and spend the rest of my life with you-childless, so long as it meant youd be by my side. I would gladly bring you to my bed with no other thoughts than taking joy from your body. It would be enough.”\r\nI swallowed. â€Å"But youre with…I mean, what about…what about Ysabel? She can have kids….”\r\nâ€Å"Ysabel,” he said dismissively, â€Å"is nothing. A pale imitation of you-and not even a good one at that.”\r\nThat was harsh of him, but it filled me with something warm and loved and special. I accomplished then that no matter the bantering, sexual tension, and legion(predicate) schemes, Dorian really was my friend. I also realized that I wanted so badly then for him to kiss me, to crush his body against mine and run his hands along my bare skin. I wanted to have sex with him against the wall, on the bed, on the home…it honestly didnt matter, so long as our bodies were joined, and I could feel him in me….\r\nWhoa. I jerked away, my heart racing, barely stopping myself from doing something Id regret. Deciding he was my friend was one thing; jumping i nto bed was another. I knew it was the tequila and my worry over Kiyo causing this. I didnt want to be with Dorian again; I couldnt be. Even if he claimed it would be for love and pleasure, I knew it could never be that simple. There would always be politics and schemes….\r\nAnd so, I did the most unsexy thing I could. I summoned Volusian.\r\nThe icy, dark presence of my minion caught even Dorian by surprise, and he took a step back. It was the Otherworldly analogous of a cold shower. Volusians eyes flicked to him and then turned back to me.\r\nâ€Å"My mistress requires more intoxication,” he said.\r\nâ€Å"No.” My magical hold on him trembled ever so slightly. It was nowhere near enough for me to lose control, but the alcohol messed with my power a bit. â€Å"I wanted you to go to the Willow Land and see if theres any news.”\r\nâ€Å"More romantic errands.”\r\nâ€Å"Just go,” I snapped, trying to sound as harsh and commanding as I could.\r \nAs soon as Volusian was gone, Dorian strode angrily to me, all traces of sensuality gone. â€Å"That was stupid, Eugenie. You shouldnt have summoned him after drinking so much.”\r\nI turned away from him. â€Å"I need to find out whats going on.”\r\nâ€Å"You need to banish him. Youre going to regret keeping him someday.”\r\nâ€Å"Hes useful,” I protested. â€Å"I dont need any lectures. You should go to Ysabel now. I dont need any more declarations of love immediately.”\r\nâ€Å"Oh?” His light tone returned. â€Å"Had a few of those today?”\r\nâ€Å"Leith,” I admitted. â€Å"He came by tonight to protest his undying devotion and see if he had a chance with me.”\r\nDorians green eyes watched me carefully. â€Å"And?”\r\nâ€Å"And, of course not. I had to tell him no a few times before he finally got it.”\r\nDorian didnt bother hiding his satisfaction. â€Å"Youve broken the poor boys heart. And his mot hers, no doubt. Therell be no ball now. Would you like me to throw one instead?”\r\nâ€Å"No.” My sadness was turning into irritability. â€Å"I want you to leave. Go to Ysabel and paint her or pass her up or whatever it is you do together. Im tire and want to go to bed. Alone.”\r\nTo my surprise, Dorian didnt protest. Much. â€Å"As you wish. If you need me, you know where Ill be.”\r\nâ€Å"It would take a lot for me to lop off you,” I said dryly.\r\nDorian gave me one of his knowing, sly smiles and then left without another word. The thought of him going to Ysabels bed troubled me more than I would have liked. Hed barely been gone a few legal proceeding when Volusian returned.\r\nâ€Å"Well?” I asked. My stomach was queasy. I didnt know what I wanted to hear.\r\nIf it was in Volusians nature to smile, I swear, he would have. â€Å"The servants of the Willow Land report joyfully that their queen has given birth to a daughter. All are h ealthy and well.”\r\nMy body went perfect still, and for a moment, I saw nothing in the room except those glowing red eyes. Finally, I snapped back to myself. â€Å"Thank you, Volusian.”\r\nâ€Å"Does my mistress require me to learn anything else about this joyous occasion?” There was a fling in his voice.\r\nâ€Å"No. Go back to Jasmine. Now.”\r\nHe obeyed, leaving me alone. I sat on the bed for several minutes, thinking of everything and nothing. I felt numb. I felt every emotion in the world. And when I suddenly ripped the air from the room and used it to sweetheart a vase against the wall, I couldnt say if it was because of Dorian or Kiyo.\r\n'